No Child Deserves To Suffer

While I was in a shopping mall in Enugu; Shoprite to be precise, I heard a car alarm system going off and some security guards were at the scene. As I walked past the car park, it turned out to be that a child was left in the back of the vehicle (Suv) that was locked.

Photc credit: Nairaland.com

Photo credit: Panoramio.com

Let me elaborate further, the child who you can hardly make out if they were  a boy or girl should be about ten years old. With the assistance of the security men and much persuasion the child was able to come out of the vehicle. He was boiling in there but was very scared of leaving because I would assume he was warned to remain in the vehicle. 

This incident took place in April, 2016 in Nigeria and the temperature was as high as 40 centigrade and above; anybody that was in Nigeria around that time can agree with me on this. So, you can imagine how sunny it was and what this child must have experienced while being locked up at the back of Suv.

So many questions kept coming into my mind, like:

- Why would someone lock up a child at the back of their car?

- Is this child not presentable enough to parade with them in the shopping mall?

- Why is it that some adults don't treat their maids like humans?

I felt really sad for what I saw that day. To be honest, within 30secs of taking a glance at the little boy, I struggled to work out his sex. He was wearing a cafetan (a free flowing gown), his hair was uncombed lowcut and on his feet a pair of brown rubber sandals. He could barely look up. 

I simply decided that he could be a 'he'. That leaves me with another question: Who dresses their child like that?

In my opinion, I do not have a clue of what this child's background is but I can tell that he would be much valued and treated as a person if he were to be living with his own parent(s). 

Dear parents, I know we live in a hard economy; where things and times are hard but please try and look after the kids your bring into this world. No child should be allowed to suffer. When you send them out as maids to people; be it relatives, bear in mind that they are not theirs and can hardly be treated as theirs. If they end up with people that have some conscience, good for them. 

Dear guardians or Madams, you all need help with chores and staying without maid is inevitable. Please treat your maids as humans. They deserve your love, care and affection just like you would do if they were to be your own. Remember, that they are living with you does not make them less human. In fact,they have come to help you why don't you help them too or make life easy for them?

I intentionally mentioned Madams because in most homes it is the woman that normally see to the affairs of the maid. That a maid is happy or treated well where he/she lives boils down to the madam of the house. Sometimes, I wonder why the men give a cold shoulder to these kind of issues at home whereas they could tell that something is not right and can make an effort to fix it.

No child deserves to suffer. 

P.S Hope your May has been going well? May the remainder of the month bring you good news.

Sorry Sir

A friend of mine was attending to a gentleman.

Halfway, the man interrupted.

"How many legs do you have?" He asked her.

"Two", she answered.

She then looked down to her feet...

The man said "Can you please stand on your own legs"

It turned out to be that my friend's left foot was actually comfortably resting on top of his, unbeknown to her.

I couldn't stop laughing when my friend told me about this.

However, I would like to assume he wasn't in much discomfort.

P.S. I will like to mention that March is my month and March 2016 is very special to me. 

Have a beautiful month Pals.

Mother's Love.

Hi friends, it has been a while. When I want to type, the creativity vanishes and I will say to myself  - its okay I will write later. You know the rest of the story when procrastination spirit sets in. More so, with busy work schedules, that did not help at all. I did miss writing so much.

I was travelling the other day while trying to rest my tired brain, with my eyes closed, I was drawn into the conversation of two women sitting adjacent to where I sat. They seem to be in their early fifties or thereabout. I will call them 'Sara and Tara'.

Sara was telling Tara how her sick Mum who was actually a wheelchair bound turned around to be the one looking after her while she was ill.

'Mum would wake up in the morning, come to see how am doing and bring prepared food for me. I have never seen my mother that active in the last three years. I usually go over every morning to help her with washing, cooking and tidying the house.'

Sara continued, 'it is unbelievable what you see happening around you sometimes. At first, I felt so weak and unhappy because I was ill and very dependent on my husband and son. However, my mum being very supportive and somewhat independent thrills me. I cannot begin to explain to you how I feel Tara. I believe God in all situations.'

Tara sounded pleased with the story too.

Anyway, I began to do my own reflection and had some good thoughts to analyse too.
Sometimes, it can be amazing how what seems like a hopeless situation to us turns out to be a turning point.

P.S: Have a great weekend and a beautiful November in advance.

Keeping A Positive Attitude While Waiting

I ran into an old friend the other day in a function. In my opinion, she was and still the type of person I would describe as a nice and kindhearted woman. She was gloomy and her mind seemed preoccupied with some personal issues. I kind of observed her for some time and later asked if she was alright.

She shook her head. I gently said to her, "whatever it is, can you at least keep your head straight?" She looked at me,"Vivien you will not understand", she said to me.In my mind, it is not that I do not want to know what was bothering a friend but I found it to be in appropriate as we were in the midst of people and I did not want her to go ahead and voice her feelings out loud.

Photo credit:Google profile pic

So, when she began to tell me how things were so were so rough for her I simply held her hand and lead her out of the room. Moments later, we were went to a more private section in the building where she poured her heart out to me. The story range from family issues, pressure at work place, wanting to get a better job but for some personal reasons not able initiate the step at the time, to name a few.

For me, the family one was the most important because so many things can go wrong and at any time but you still have to go home everyday and home should at least be a peaceful place you look forward to.  At home, she has issues with her partner; who would not like to help out with child care,  up-keeping  of the the house and above all still expects so much from her.

Did I forget to mention that the pair are blessed with two lovely kids? Yes they are that lucky.

She went on and on. I   inquired from her how long she has been able to put up with all of that, how she has tried handling them and whether a family  member  or a close friend has meddled. Then, she told me how numerous interventions, how some lasted for inly a day and the rest were rather fruitless. Enough heard in regards to the family squabbles already, so I gave some piece of advice and tried to let her  understand  how she can repeat certain things she had already  tried out but with a more different approach.Some greater piece of my advice I am not going to disclose here.

As per the workplace problem, I tried to reason with her in the sense that when you are working, you spend a great deal of your time at work. More so, when we find it that challenging and dislike it.Then it becomes a problem and our emotions and other essential aspects of our lives suffers. To worsen it all, she felt that she stuck in her current job and cannot tell how soon she is likely to get a different job.We explored her circumstances,weighed her options and I made her understand that she has options. "You can achieve this and many more, all you need to do is to set your priority, make out time, be focused and in due time;sooner than you can imagine you will live your dream", those were my words to her. 

Most importantly, I repeatedly told her to be prayerful.By maintaining close communication with God through prayers you are not alone.I encouraged her to try and be strong for herself and if she can, wear a face that tends to imply that she has  everything under control.Besides, there are a lot of things one can still be grateful for in any given situation. I can tell that by the time we have talked this far that her mood had already enlightened. She was pleased with the conversation. 

Mmm... we were still in a function remember? So, we walked back into the room and joined others. I can tell I missed a bit on the agenda of the function but I was fulfilled to have spent a reasonable time with a friend. 

Happy People

Photo credit: emdoodle.com

I saw this pretty petite lady dancing

throwing her hands freely into the air

in a not sunny nor cold but dull weather

some distances away from the bus stop in a busy area.

She was all smiles and looked completely happy. 

Clothed in a flowered colourful shirt, long spotted skirt and trainers

I suppose she wouldn't notice the staring faces of passersby. 

She continued smiling and perhaps was worried about nothing.

Amazingly, there ought to be food and shelter

Some where for her.

If she can be that happy then why cant you?

If the very lady I just told you about

can be that pleased with herself and jubilate,

then, I would like to believe there are some many things you can be thankful for.

Stop being sober, be happy and worry less.

 
P. S. Thanks friends for making out time to read some of my posts. May your year be fulfilled.

Happy Man

Met a lovely and humorous elderly man.

Photo credit: flickr.com

He made jokes and I laughed

I enjoyed watching him as he chatted with the kids who were playing

Then a bus gradually approached

A lady came by and I realised they were together

'He is nice and lovely with kids' I said to the lady

'He has no family...' she replied in soft tone

Little do I know he had no family

How cruel life can be sometimes

To a man who seem to be full of life

Laughing on the top of his voice and playing with the kids

Ring on the last finger.

I went to get some chicken from a poultry shop and succeeded in having a nice chat with the sales personnel. At first, it was hard work for me to locate the shop because I was looking for a fresh or possibly live one, it was my first time there after about 6 years ago; I was there with someone. 

On sighting the building and it's unique yellow painting and drawings, I suddenly knew it was the particular shop I had in mind, after been to couple of other shops and asking after this very shop. 

On reaching there, there were varieties of chicken  I could choose from. The guy helped me made a good choice and admired the ring I had on my finger. We got chatting and he asked for the significances or my cultural interpretations of wearing rings on different fingers. 'The index finger is for singles or students, third is for engaged people, fourth is the marriage one while the last one is for widow/widower. As for the thumb, I am not so sure what it stands for, maybe for native doctors', those were my honest answers. We both laughed, especially in regards to the last bit of my explanation.

Photo credit: weheartit.com

It was then that I asked him to tell me why he had a band-less ring on his last finger and I made interesting discoveries. He said that in Morocco where he hails from, parents usually give a ring of luck to their children; to guard them, when they want to leave for a foreign land and in his case it was his mother who gave him the ring.

I was pleased to hear that, in a way that it melted my heart. I actually felt home sick although am not from Morocco. In reality, it got me thinking about the attachment of people to where they originated from and how they so much cherish it , irrespective of how they fare where they found themselves.

At the end I said to him, 'I hope the ring continues to bring you luck'. I suppose he enjoyed the chat too.  I was going to ask him more about his Country but then I was only there to get some meat, so, the meats were neatly cut and packed and off I go.

P.S  We will like to know if you have a special meaning for wearing a ring on a particular finger or at least, your cultural perception of  it. Thanks in advance.

Fostering Good Behaviour Among Kids

'I don't know what you are saying', the child replied and looked away. She asked him again 'do you want to become a Priest? 'I don't know what that means.'Oh! Sorry, I mean, do you want to become a Rev Fr? Before then the child's uncle who was standing right beside smiled and said 'he wants to be an Engineer. 

No....the little boy then replied. Priest means same as Rev Fr, the woman corrected the child who in a striking manner said ' but you didn't say Priest, you said Appraised. They argued while I watched from behind. At the end, the woman told him not to tell people especially, adults they did not say a thing particularly when the words sound very similar. She went further to tell him that it shows lack of respect though she was still able to give him a pat and let him go and play.

Meanwhile, the child's uncle was all smiles as if he was showing off a smart genius nephew, I guess he is, though he went off and didn't get to observe the last attitude teaching session. At the other end, the woman was generally talking about how nowadays kids talk to adult. Obviously, she was surprised about the way the boy insisted that she didn't say Priest. Besides, it was quiet loud because I heard it, maybe the little boy is a grammarian in the making. Who knows? 

It made me recall an incident that occurred in a friends house when I visited last week. The lady had previously warned her kids not to play around the kitchen being that she was making lots of dishes and wouldn't want any form of accident. Who wouldn't do same? 

So, the girl was chased by the brother she ran into the kitchen and it happened to be same time her mum was dishing out some foods, turning around, she almost slipped. In an automatic manner, she spanked her girl on the back. I was a bit surprised because she didn't fall, the dishes were intact and that was a loud spanking. 

I turned to the little girl who then simply went and stood at the doorway, she didn't look like she was going to burst into tears like I expected rather in the next couple of minutes she went off and continued playing but didn't come near the kitchen again. 

'I thought 21st century parents don't smack kids,' I asked. 'Oh! Not me, I do, when need be. They should know you are their parent and not their friend. They need to he disciplined, or else by the time they  get to their teens you can hardly talk to them let alone correcting them,' was her response.

Disciplining kids is very important as it lays a good foundation for them to build on later on in life. I am a huge fan of good attitude. I think the ladies did well as long as the goal is to inculcate good attitude into children for a better and a greater future generation. 

No Good Friendship Without Love

Good friends are hard to find but when you count yourself lucky to have at least one of them, do keep them. Sometimes, we might not be continually in contact with them but the fact remains that whenever we do, it feels so evergreen. It creates a sound state of mind as people understand and take you for who you truly are, without much questions or concerns for gossip.

Love is such a beautiful thing that we cannot talk about friendship or companionship of any sort without making reference to it. It drives us to do things willingly for the welfare and happiness of others. No wonder the bible has so much teachings in regards to love.

Drawing strength from the story of St Valentine, especially during his days in the prison and the friendship he had at that time. The story mentioned he had lots of visitors and many threw flowers into his cell window but amongst them were noted the daughter of the prisons guard, who visited him more often and helped him to keep his spirits up.

Unfortunately, we seem to live in a time where for some reasons most people are not genuine in their dealings with people, it is either they are with you for some benefits or they simply can't be honest with you, yet they still want to be close and fit into the friend category.

Despite all these, I still believe there are some nice people out there and I  hope you are able to find that person that can be your friend even when the whole world thinks you are so wrong and deserved to be alone. We all need someone to help keep us going particularly in hard times, when we are all by ourselves and would do with some companionship. For some people, they simply decide to be disconnected with the world but that doesn't mean that when eventually reached they would back out, instead they will forever remain grateful you did. Besides, those are the times to prove we truly care for someone because when we are doing so well and bubbling there are friends of all calibre in all nook and cranny.

As other remarkable days are celebrated so is today being celebrated. So show some love to someone, appreciate those that have made your live colourful in any way. Obviously, couples and lovers celebrate this day but it is not only meant for them. Ignore the fact that these days many ideas are overrated, you can mark Valentines day with family, an old friend, a colleague;anyone that thinks well of you.

 P.S. Happy St Valentine's day Friends. May your hearts be filled with love of God and love of man. Cheers.

My Train Sisters.

I was on a train to London from Leigh on Sea. Actually, the train was meant to be showing the callings as we go but it kept showing the wrong thing; Westcliff instead of East Tilbury or Ockendon because we were heading towards Fenchurch street and not Shoeburyness.

The map

I noticed we just passed Stanford-le-Hope but it kept showing same thing. To ease any form of doubt already building up, I went to view the map closely and then simply stood there. Was I the only one worried? Hell no!

Can you believe that? And no one apologized for the misleading info

I focused on the various stops I could see from the window as we passed and ignored the display board. One of the three teenage girls sitting on the other side asked me if our train was heading towards the right direction. 'Yes, but it shows the wrong location' was my response. The rest were like: they have been trying to figure out what was going on among themselves. The girls were much more disturbed because they said they were not familiar with the stops seen from the train.  I showed them it is from the route we were taking because they are two different routes to same the destination but ours has more stops whereas they are used to the one with fewer stops. They were glad we all got clarified at last.

I then went back and sat down. In case you were wondering what it was with me. Well, that was around 9.30pm and  I was so many miles away from home, after a very long day. I was exhausted and couldn't afford to be in a wrong train, not even for a minute ride. I didn't need any form of inconvenience because it was about 2 hours journey.

Anyway, one thing I enjoy about these national rails is that most times you have lots of empty seats and can be the only one in a coach unlike the London underground where people are usually packed like sardines.

Some minutes later, a couple came in and went over to sit where one of the girls sat earlier(before joining her friends sitting at other side). The lady simply asked if the bag on the seat were theirs, handed it over to them and sat down. That place was actually more comfortable being that it has a table and people could sit facing another. While the girls were chatting and laughing the lady interrupted them. She felt offended and was convinced they were discussing about her and her partner.

Her partner took over and started exchanging words with the girls. He was swearing a lot and they all ended up saying fucking... to each other.  I was disturbed and didn't know who exactly to calm down. Their voices eventually came down but it was only for a minute before the lady said she heard something else. Oh dear! The guy was very angry now and stood up. I was signalling both parties to please stop before the lady dragged the guy to the other end of the coach. Thanks goodness!

My teenage friends started laughing boisterously and the other one went back to her former seat and placed her legs on the table. In their opinion, the couple have no right to talk to them. In fact, they did enjoyed the argument. In between watching them, I was drafting what you are reading now. They complained about the journey been much longer and unusual and I assured them again it was due to the route. I guess they just couldnt wait to get off the train. They later got off before me and we exchanged goodbyes like we all knew each other. It was more like saying bye to an elder sister.

Minutes later, I was in Westham. I changed into the London underground and stood for some minutes before I was able to get a seat.

P.S. Happy New Year! I am wishing you all a blissful 2014. Sending good tidings of happiness, love and peace to you. May all your dreams come through.

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The Woman and Lime

Last month, I had a kind of facial rash which I am yet to give a name. Maybe I would have to come up with a diagnosis for it soon. Initially, I thought it could be some of those pimples that do visit me when they want and leave without  traces when they are done hanging around. My guess was wrong because these I-dont -know-the-name-rashes actually did come to stay.

Over the week, they gradually built up and covered my forehead. I was worried about them and tried some anti-fungal and anti-inflammatory creams; Nixoderm, Skineal but none came to my rescue, although I didn't use any of  them for a long time being that I needed something that could act very fast. Yeah, I needed my face intact as soon as possible.

On one occasion, I was in the bus and was thinking about trying out natural remedies than trying all these creams I didn't find to be of much help to my case. I recalled lots of cases where I have seen or heard people said they used this or that on their faces and how effective it was for them. As I was about getting off the bus, a woman sitting before me dragged me back.

'Do you know the green small lime?' she asked.  'Lime? yes, I know lime' I nodded at same time. 'Use it on your face.' I thanked her and left. Fortunately, I met her in the next couple of minutes at a bus stop, she then came closer and said to me that her daughter once had such bumps and lime was her redeemer. She was talking and demonstrating something which I didn't understand clearly. As you can see it was that bad  which was the reason she called them 'bumps'.

Limes

I was convinced I have gotten a remedy at last because earlier while I was in the former bus I contemplated using lime but wondered if it was going to be very toxic for my skin. But  now, my fears are been driven far away and it was more like a revelation. All I did was to browse for facts about it and I was in. I bought limes the same day.

Day two on lime therapy, am yet to see an effect and was going to panic again before my companion the previous day said I should scrub my face with it. The woman was demonstrating I should get the lime, cut into two halves and scrub my face with it. Oh! was that what she meant.I only heard lime and that was it for me, I used cotton wool to apply it on my face like I saw on the internet. Okay then, noted.

I followed the instruction the next time and my face could tell that lime really hurts. It does! I did it morning and night and a spotted a tremendous effect. In space of three days my face was good to go.

I learnt lots of facts about not breaking the facial skin by certain creams and hot water and how to use honey to wash it in order to nourish it. Honey makes the face feel so smooth, you just feel it. Lemon is very good too, its similar to lime but lime is stronger. I read a lot about the face now and am enjoying every bit of the natural remedies.

Let me tell you about my situation, the rashes I had were: a bit reddish, some spread out, some in clusters, had blunt pustules, sometimes itchy and hurts. At least, I knew it has gone past pimples. Hey! hope you are not thinking of any particular diagnosis for me right now? Well, my face is back now.

That Woman was a God-sent to me because I and lime are now buddies.

I would encourage anyone with some face rashes that seem not to be responding to creams to try LIME. It is very effective and acts quickly too.

P.S. I was meant to write this earlier before now to ensure there will be lots of smooth and pretty faces this festive period. Pardon me for that. Nevertheless, we all need good looks at all times.

Seasons greetings!

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What's going on?

Photo culled from the internet

I have actually seen lots of beggars and some homeless people but there was something about that woman I couldn't just place. In fact, there is a particular man that do lie under the shades of trees and flowers on a corner in my area, although I have not seen him for sometime since winter arrived, I hope he has found a better place to lay his head at night.

So, it was a very cold day and I was rushing to a function but all of a sudden I was stopped by a woman; who at first was speaking a language I didn't understand. I looked at her and she went on for about a minute or so before I was able to hear hunger and money. As she talked, the little child she was holding was busy playing and smiling.

Unfortunately, I had only few coins with me and handed them over to her and she mumbled words that sounded like she was thanking me or something close to that. Although my mind was occupied by other activities I couldn't help but think about this woman and the small boy. 

I have seen lots of beggars but why it seems to be very rampant now is what I don't understand, even in this unbearable weather. 

Later in the day, I discussed it with a colleague and he said some cultures simply like begging and can't stay away from it. He added that some couple of years ago, some women carrying drugged children were seen on trains begging for money. That as a matter of fact, times have changed for good. No doubt he was right but I was of the opinion that when people look relatively fit it is better they find themselves a job;be it a menial one, as long as it brings them some quid rather than wandering the streets begging for money.

The rate at which beggars are seen on the streets of London now are very alarming. If you see one today, the next day it increases to three or more. Does it all boil down to hard economy?

What's going on? 

Meanwhile, I recall a friend telling me the other day that when a haggard man begged her for money in an eatery she simply told him to choose something and she paid for him. That way she made sure he didn't spend her money on purchasing some cigarettes or booze. At least, she provided him with a meal, which made a difference. 

Well, we should try in our own little ways to help people. That little could mean so much to them. 

Have A Word With The Man At The Counter.

An elderly man in his mid-eighties arrived happily to his younger friends house. His friend who has been expecting him was quite surprised when he saw how excited he looked on his arrival. He hugged him and went off to make him a cup of tea because the weather was chilly.

'I have been worried about you and how fast you were going to make it?' He told him, fully cognizant of the fact that his friend can be somewhat forgetful, at times. Besides, he had a meeting to attend in the next few hours so, it was nice he made it on time too.

The elderly man smiled. 'You are not going to believe what happened. 'I entered the train without a travel ticket and was lucky there were no checks, I passed unnoticed.'

'Oh! You did?' His friend almost screamed covering his mouth...they both laughed. Now, he knows why his friend is kind of overexcited since he outsmarted some folks out there. They haven't seen each other in a very long time and only talk on the phone though they chatted like the phone talks never existed. Later on, it was time for him to leave for the meeting in order to make it on time. However, he wanted to make sure his friend at least, pays for his ticket this time.

On getting to the station, the queue was so long and the ticket fees were saying different things ranging form £20- £500. Obviously, he didn't have that much time to wait for him but to leave as soon as he can.

How much are you going to pay, he asked him. 'Don't worry, am not looking at any of that- referring to the the fares. I will speak with the Man at the counter, when it gets to my turn, ' the old man replied. His friend patted him on the back and left though he was worried about him.

Later in the night, he got a phone call from his friend telling him how wonderful his trip turned out to be. He said that after having a word with the man at the counter, he was able to arrange a £20 ticket for him; which was a first class and he was served a bottle of champagne. In addition, when he got to his destination, one of the staff followed him and called a taxi for him as well. What more can he ask for! He was all smiles as he narrated it all it his friend.

They both laughed and he was pleased to know his friend was happy and safe at last.

I guess it is always good to speak with the Man at the counter irrespective of the expected outcome or what the World tells us. 

Anyone can be favoured, with God there is no favourite.

You can Do A Lot 'On-Your -Own' Through Him Who Gives You Strength.

There are times that people who we know quite well seem to do things that tends to put us on the edge and all of a sudden we begin to question a whole lot of things.

It is okay to keep reminding ourselves that no one is perfect not minding the fact that we are still able to find that one person whom we simply choose over others.

While I was chatting with a friend the other day, she sounded really worried and said a couple of things about her partner. She has a plan of how things can be made better and not that he is not willing to accept her idea but it seems not to be very convenient for him now. She complained bitterly. I tried to reason with her but I still made her see reasons with the guy too.

 'You can see he is busy with some other things now, at the meantime let him be.  It is not like he is rejecting your idea.'

Why are you this disturbed? I asked because she was furious and that got me worried about them both. Well, we had a nice chat and she was calm and felt better afterwards.

It would be nice of us if we continually evoke that initial passion we had before embarking on anything because it does not only motivates us but also keeps us on our toes as well. When you know that deep down you love someone, don't cross yourself. Yes, be reasonable but that does not mean that it is going to be very rosy at all times. Love, they say endures all things that is why some people will seem to hurt you severally and you find yourself forgiving them, even before they apologize whereas same acts will be totally not tolerated with other people.

Try and develop a positive way of seeing people and things they do. It really helps and encourages a healthy lifestyle. Bearing a grudge is very bad because no matter how you mask it, it still finds its way and reflects in ones character. You might think that you are doing well and not showing whatever it was but people close to you can tell you act a bit different.

I would encourage discussing it, expressing exactly how you feel in the words that make you feelings or concerns well expressed. You have the right to be angry. There is no formulae in these things, think responsibly and do things your way. When you think the low-and-understanding voice is not working you can try out the high-angry voice, what matters is that at the end of the day you still go back to the normal.

Look at it this way, if you cannot have a quality chat with that very person whats the point going to talk all that through with another. You know them well and should be able to figure out when it is suitable to engage them in such conversations. Off course, you cant just initiate talk you tag 'serious' anytime and hope to get a useful response.

Always go for what is suitable for you. For instance, some people might like to chat after dinner time while some early in the morning. You don't go and wake someone up at midnight because you were told or have read somewhere that midnight talk is the ultimate. Maybe, it was for the writer or for most people they carried out research on at that time but the truth is 'we are all unique creatures' some generalised findings cannot be applicable to all at same time. Don't forget that some people don't even sleep before that time while some about few minutes before 12, so are you going to wake them up? It's either they babble first then talk, or later you get a warning for such sleep disturbance. Dozing while talk is going on can equally be achieved with that. I hope I was able make my point clear enough.

When something goes wrong and you still want to be with that person and they also want you, try to let them know how you feel. That's your life and you make decisions based on what you think you two have been through or what you feel for them. However, when you simply go and offload the 'problem' to someone you might get a contradictory advice. Some individuals can probe and dig out some past and unresolved problems and put life into them. Believe me, it happens while others would help you deal with it in a better and reasonable way. Both categories of people do exist, beware of the former except you have loaded your gun and only need help with the trigger.

You can simply try asking yourself questions like, why is this that, why is that this, if I do this...that happens,  if I do that...what could happen? You can make a chart for them if need be.  You never can tell, it might help you solve certain issues and minimise times spent in consulting others. Besides, some times people tell us things we already know, though it is not usually the case. Always try your best and leave the rest.

When you learn to see good in people, things can only get better and better but when you do the opposite, even the tiniest fault that can easily be ignored by others will be magnified ten-folds before you.

NB
I actually struggled to write this without mentioning God a couple of times. Always put Him first in all you do.

True Love

Seeing is believing. 

She was very pleased with him and want to be his for the rest of her life. He loves her as well and didn't in any way hide his feelings for her. Well, who wouldn't? After nearly 10years of friendship and relationship.

A lot have been done to ensure that they spend the rest of their lives together. They have been very close and well known to each others relatives. With luck on their sides, both families consented to their union and can't wait for them to cement their relationship. 

As usual, they went for blood test as required by their Rev. It happened to be that the lady's HIV result was positive but it was not revealed to her out rightly.The counsellor called the Rev. who is also a good friend of the man and revealed to him the outcome of the tests. 

They all got worried and questioned what could be the fate of these two long time lovers. To add sugar to the injury, the lady was 2months pregnant for him. 

The young man was summoned to the hospital with a panel waiting for him. The counselling protocol was observed before and after the news was broken to him. To their disbelief, he said they do not know what they were saying and that come what may he is going to marry his bride to be as scheduled. 

The lady was sent to different places to redo the rest and confirmatory test as well before she was actually made to understand that she is a carrier while the husband isn't. She couldn't believe her situation and cried like her world has fallen apart. 

'Have you told my husband to be?' She asked. The counselor nodded. She screamed. Raising her hands to her head. 'How can it be? Darkness have caught up with me in the broad daytime!'

'What did he say? My heartthrob has abandoned me!' 

'He said he is still by your side and that he is going to go ahead with the marriage.'

In confusion, the lady said, '...and you think he means all of that... My God where are you?... I have not slept with any other man ... I have been doing like I ought to... Where exactly have I gone wrong? Tell me... '

Elsewhere, people have been talking to the young man to enable him understand his situation and the implications of what he is about to do. After so much talks from Tom, Dick and Harry, he made them understand that if marrying her woman in the next few days means having HIV, he is willing to get that and that they are going to die happily. 

Most people were actually shocked to hear him say that. He went further to say that he has known her for a long time, have seen various versions of women and none could be equated to her girl. She is simply the only one meant for her and nothing will change that.  

The lady continue to ask herself if she was in dream and how long she going to last in it. He took her to the Rev. and to his relatives as well. To her greatest surprise, he has actually brought her so that can help him reassure her that he knows what he is saying and doing and means every bit of it. He could not come up with any other way of convincing her since she hardly chats other than crying the hell out of her life all the time. 

To the dismay of some relatives and friends, he married the woman of his dreams. Happily wedded in church. 

My thoughts

Some guys for-some-reasons-best-known-to-them would have simply danced to the tune of the songs people sang to their ears lately and abandon their HIV- infected and pregnant Girlfriend not knowing that there could be a possibility that they are equally infected but he could be in his window period.

Not that it is a very wonderful thing getting married to One who has the infection but based on the aforementioned circumstances it is not a bad idea. 

In my opinion, that guy is a hero because many people out there simply take pride in finding faults where there is none let alone when such a huge issue arises. 

Whatever you do, make sure it is for a good Cause, do it for love and for God. 

What will be will be. 

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Ladies And Gents: What Do You Have To Say?

The other I had a conversation which I found surprising very interesting with an elderly in his late sixties or thereabouts. Never mind, I am not so good in guessing age right but at least you can imagine what he looks like.

Anyway, he is a relative as well but that type that the family tie seems to be so elongated. Yes that type. We discussed varied ranges of topics and I was overwhelmed by how he seem to have a more intense view of almost everything. Old age indeed comes with wisdom. There were certain topics we seem to have strong different views on and on my own little part I would want to let him know my opinions and justify them as well while in some I simply suck in to his ideas.

However, when we got to marriage and polygamy in our modern society, it became a-no-win-no-loss game. I was of the opinion should be between a man and a wife no matter what the circumstances are. My biblical backups and the rest of them were not far fetched. And being something I so much believe in I was saying as much as I could to solidify my views.

He said he knows all those things am rattling and many more I was going to say. Hehehe! 

Listen attentively to what I am going to tell you, he said. 

I adjusted my sitting position and leaned forward. It was obvious that its going to be a long talk. He started by telling me a story about how their grandparents lived and how things happened those olden days. In his terms " good olden days".  He said marriage was highly rated and very scared especially amongst women, that they all try as much as they could to make their marriages the best.

He mentioned that polygamy made women to be very competitive in their marital homes as they always thrive to furnish their husbands with the best dishes. He actually made me understand that these women do have a particular day to feed and sleep with their husbands and usually makes the best of it. 

All these make the family to be in harmony and the man feels loved by all his wives and treats them according.he discussed this bit very well explaining how those women seek the attention of their husband. There was so much passion in his voice like he was actually there or would have preferred to live in that generation.
 

To him, marriages between man and one woman cause more problems and high rates of divorce which was not the case in the days of our forefathers. It only makes women feel empowered which they usually abuse and consequently treat their husband with a much less respect and it is not meant to be so. Children were taught how to respect their  elders, house chores and how to become good members of the society right from home. He made it sound like polygamous family are the best for acquisition of all kinds of informal education. 

He equally added that most couples in nowadays marriages are unhappy. 

Haven't I heard enough? In as much as I know what I believe in and would stand by it, there were certain things that he said that really caught my attention and also made sense. Interesting how an idea  can be perceived in absolute contrasting ways. 

Well, am glad to have come in this present time. Can I know your views please?

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Close Your Windows While Out

Last week, as I arrived at the Church about 15minutes before 12noon mass time, I met a group of people discussing what has happened few hours ago. A friend said to me, 'Vivien can imagine that Fr was robbed during the 10am mass?'



I was surprised to hear that. To think of it,  I do hear of such acts in distant countries or other places but for it to happen in my own church sent me chills.  They said that the burglar made away with his laptop, phone, money and other things.

 A volunteer who usually sits close to the entrance door to help people out said that during communion time she saw a very strange face coming out from the other side of the building ( the section that leads to the basement and to the Priests flat ) with black bags in his two hands and made his way to the exit. She regretted not stopping or at least querying him. Other people were equally drawn into the discussion as they all were much concerned for the poor Priest.

Nevertheless, we all had to stop to attend to what we came for. The sermon was so lovely. One of his stories was about Doves. He told us about the absolute fidelity of Doves and how they end-up mating a single male partner throughout their lifetime. I found that really interesting. In fact, doves are my favorite birds for other genuine reasons and now I have a beautiful addition to that.

During announcement, he then told us how his apartment was ransacked by a burglar whom he said must have gained entrance through his open window. At this point, he stopped and advised against leaving our windows open when we are out. He mentioned some items that were stolen but what seem to trouble him so much was his laptop and backup. According to him, he has lost his 35years work. Amongst them were lots of vital information; in regards to his school years, Priest works, personal reflections, all his pictures and so on.

As usual, he had to stand for a while to say hello to parishioners after church, it was then that he said that while he was exchanging greetings with people after the 10am mass he saw someone standing in the front of his door with bags but it did not occur to him that he could do anything at that time. He could simply tell that there was something fishy about that person whom he said was not any of his parishioners.

To think that someone would deem invading a Priest's apartment while he is in the Church preaching and within the same building is highly unbelievable.

Where is our conscience?

Laugh it off

I sat in the bus so tired when one of the passengers; a man who simply do not feel like sitting down could not just stop drawing attention to himself.

At first, he rattled a whole lot of words and I could not just hear a single thing he said though I cannot tell if I was the only one that was not able to understand him. He was shouting and no one bothered to stop him. He went on before he broke into a laughing session. It did not really appear funny but as he went on and changed his rhythm he began to make many people laugh and I smiled where I sat.

'Can't you all laugh or smile, at least', he shouted. 'It is not breaking the law and you ain't gonna get charged for it.' This time he said something I could hear clearly.

Another man sitting close to him began to chat with him and at a point asked him to sit down.

The weather is so hot. I can't just sit down, was his response. 'I am a spider man.'

It was then I noticed the way he crossed his shirt over his neck baring his chest. Its either he is simply high or something, unless the scorching sun actually brings the best-worst in him. He really made me laugh.
 
It was funny after all as he entertained us all. I guess he made some people laugh, probably those who might not have seen any reason to laugh lately.

Mistakes Could Mean Well.

See through them.

There are times we tend to question some of our actions, especially in those cases where things went terribly wrong in the  past. We begin to worry and blame ourselves, analysing an already gone situation.

We start to think about how best things would have been, if we had done either this or that. 

It usually feels so easy to sit and criticize all our previous acts. But, what we rarely remember was how that particular course of action was the only thing or idea that meant so much to us at that given time. And how we were desperate to get them done. 

Whenever we noticed we have made a mistake or did not succeed in a thing, it is important that we should only see it as a lesson and move on. The reason is because at a certain time it made sense to us and it now belongs to the past.

At least, it shows that we made an effort. Besides, mistakes can help us find that very answer or skill that we require. Our ability to strive and rectify a given situation is what matters the most. 

In addition, there are certain challenges that we only handle best when we must have seen the other side of it. 

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Life Struggles

Remain Positive.

As humans, most times we only desire to get things right.
We try out all we can
Hoping that we must get it right.

At times, it turns us to be so.
We become fulfilled
And see things as being oversimplified.  

But, it is not usually the case.
There are times our handwork do not pay.
What matters is that we do not relent.

It could be that so much is expected from us,
It could result from any eventuality,
It could be down to fate.

It is of our best interest to always be willing to try
And do not give up
Because, once there is life there is hope.

It is well.

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